Miriam/David SCAM

MESSAGE I RECEIVED:

Hello From Miriam,
Hi,I am Miriam David,please how are you hope you are fine and in perfect condition of health I got your contact during my internet private search directory and i read it and took interest in you,please if you don't mind i will like you to write me on this ID so that i can send you my pictures and tell you more about my self hope to hear from you soon,and I will be waiting for your mail because i have something VERY important to tell you Lot of love Miriam

MY REPLY:

Hi Miriam / David,

Thank you for reaching out to me. Now, let me get this straight -- you are two people? Miriam and David? I am definitely interested, however, I don't think I can date someone who is living a double-life. That has happened to be before and it was awful. Let me explain...

It was the spring of 1987 and I was a young kid attending the Rhode Island College for the Exceptionally Gifted. My major was psychic telekinesis -- I was training to move things with my mind. One day, I went to class as usual and we had a new student: Waxana. She was beautiful, smart, and every 72 hours she produced enough wax in her ears to make a small candle (I think that was the "exceptional power" she was trying to cultivate). Anyway, I immediately started to court her by taking her to eat dinner on the basketball court. I would cook all manner of fine meats for her insatiable appetite (which was considerable). She wasn't much of a talker, but she would periodically brush my hair with her long nails, and I would in return brush her hair. It was magical.

Then, one day, I was waiting to meet with her for a study session -- I wore my magician's cape and top hat, as was the fashion back in those days -- but she never showed up. Panicked, I went looking for her, only to find she had been subdued by Animal Control. I screamed at
them "This is not an animal! This is my girlfriend Waxana!" It was then that I learned the horrible truth -- the Animal Control Supervisor sat me down and told me quite frankly: "son, you've been dating a black bear." I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I said "sir, I don't care what color she is, I will date her anyway!" He then slapped me straight across the face and proclaimed: "No, you fucking idiot! She is a BEAR! A fucking BEAR! You're lucky she didn't rip your goddamn face off!" After letting the information sink in, I calmly replied: "Well, after the way you've treated me here today... I wonder, who is the real animal?"

With that, I got up and left, never to see my beloved Waxana again. Oh yeah, and the college turned out to be a scam, too.

Anyway, you see my point. Which one are you? Miriam or David? I'm not going to date a bear again, damn you. Never again! So if this is another ruse, please leave me alone and never speak to me again. But if it is genuine, I suggest we meet and discuss the potential relationship over fine sweet meats.

Call me.

Kevin "Oh My God You're A Bear?" Mitchell
401-648-6543